Loving Lana, Chapter 8
“Martin Interiors is going to be faxing over a new contract later today, Susan. Bring it in as soon as you get it, please.” Brad’s administrative assistant glanced over her monitor as Brad walked up to her desk.
“Yes sir.” She held out two slips of paper. “Here are your messages. Are we keeping M.I. for another year?” Brad glanced down at the notes, a wry grin lifting the corners of his lips.
“Looks like it.” He turned towards his office. “You might want to buy something suitable to wear to a wedding…” He glanced back, amused at the confusion and shock on her face. He went into the office, and closed his door. He settled in at his desk and reached for the phone.
A few hours later, there was a knock at his door.
“Come in.” He turned a sheet of notes over to shield them from curiosity. Susan entered, holding a file folder.
“I have that contract from M.I.” She passed it over the desk to him, and stood waiting. “If you’d like to sign it now, I can fax it back…”
“That won’t be necessary just yet,” he said, opening the folder. “I need to make sure the changes we discussed this morning are here.” Susan nodded and stood for a moment longer. Brad looked up over his reading glasses.
“Is there something else?”
“A wedding, sir?” Susan quirked one eyebrow up. “May I ask who’s getting married?”
Brad sat back in his chair, placing his glasses on top of the contract. Susan had been with him for the past fifteen years, and had witnessed the whole debacle of his past relationship with Lana. She deserved to know before the news went public.
“I am. I’m going to marry Lana Anderson.”
“But why would she—“ Susan sunk to the edge of a nearby chair, apparently in shock.
“I don’t know why she wants to marry me after what I did, but I’m taking advantage of it.” He leaned forward, propped his elbows on the desk and rubbed his face. “I can’t get her out of my head, Susan. Maybe this time I can do things differently, we can start over…”
Susan nodded, remaining silent. She hadn’t said a word when news of his very public breakup with Lana had spread through the office, though he had suspected she harbored some resentment. Several weeks of nearly undrinkable coffee in the mornings paired with a distinct lack of conversation had confirmed his theory. She’d stayed on though, and if the look on her face was any indication, she wasn’t sure this next move was a good one. Was she worried about him, or Lana, he wondered.
“It was Lana’s idea,” he added, feeling defensive at her silence. She merely tilted her head slightly, a gentle lift of her eyebrows challenging him. He wasn’t about to explain his part in forcing Lana to such drastic measures.
“Alright then.” Susan stood. “When will you two lovebirds be exchanging vows?”
“This Saturday morning, ten o’clock at the courthouse,” Brad said, ignoring her sarcastic tone. “I’d like you to attend as a witness, if possible.”
“Of course,” Susan said crisply. “Let me know when you’re done with the contract, and I’ll fax it back.” She turned and walked out of his office, closing the door behind her.
Brad put his glasses back on and opened the file. Half an hour later, he finished the last page, picked up a pen, and signed his name. He folded his coat over one arm, and took the folder out to Susan.
“This is ready to be faxed back to M.I.,” he said, handing her the file. “I need to take care of a few things, so I’ll see you tomorrow.”
“Have a good evening, sir.”
Brad couldn’t resist a grin at her disapproving tone, which earned him a frown as he walked by. He checked his watch as he exited the front doors. The item he’d ordered should be ready by now, and he set off down the sidewalk, trying to ignore the anxiety pulsing under his skin.
This is the first draft I'm working on - comments always welcome.




4 comments:
If this is a first draft...wow. This is really good. You have quite a knack for "showing", not "telling". That particular concept has been on my mind for some time now (don't know why), and this is a really good example of the right way to do it. Good job.
Thanks Eric. I guess I should label this "1.5 draft" or "slow draft", since I do go over it for glaring grammatical errors and such before posting. No one wants to read writing *that bad* (nor should they have to!). And since I'm writing it slower than I would with...say...a NaNo draft, it's not going too badly so far.
It's ironic you chose this particular post to comment on though, since there are several really big things that bug me about it. They'll be fixed in revision, later though.
As for the show, don't tell - it's a constant mantra I repeat as I'm writing - "show, don't tell." I'm flattered that you think I'm on the right track! :-)
Thanks for reading...
I agree with Eric, this is pretty amazing for a first draft.
You keep making me change my mind about whether or not I like Brad, which (to me) is the sign of a great story.
Thanks CR. I'm glad you can't decide about Brad - I can't either. But it is a romance, so we know what happens in the end...the fun part is getting there. It would be boring if that were easy.
Now I need to go put my ego back in it's proper place... ;-)
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