Wonders & Blunders: Shower Radio and Garbage

Wonder: The Shower Radio

I hate mornings. I'm a night person, always have been, and probably always will be (I write most blog posts - including this one - the night before and schedule them to appear the next day). So getting up at 6am when I stay up until at least midnight nearly every night is excruciating, and I'm always looking for new ways to make mornings less painful for myself.

I considered getting a radio for the shower long before I actually did. My husband and I like to listen to Talk Radio in the morning - the Belle & Tommy B. show, of course. We also both like long showers, which isn't exactly condusive to being on time for work. I thought maybe having a radio in the shower would help me keep track of the time, so I could get out and wake hubby up on time.

One day we were walking through a store, and these were right there on an endcap, for $10 each. I decided to pick one up, and the next morning, talk radio was keeping me company in the shower, and reminding me of the time every so often. It had the added bonus of getting my brain working a little earlier than normal, so I could move faster. Bonus all around!

I love our shower radio - love having news & time reminders every morning to help me wake up before work. Definately a "wonder" in our bathroom.

Blunder: Swing-top Garbage

I didn't really think too hard before picking up this inexpensive garbage pail for our bathroom when we moved in four years ago. It was cheap, it had a lid, and that's all that really mattered. It worked fine for 3 1/2 years. But recently, we've had two problems:

and:

These two innocent looking critters have been raiding the bathroom trash while hubby and I are at work. We come home to bits of tissue, q-tips and toilet paper rolls strewn about the house, some of which inevitably gets ingested (gross!). We've been trying to keep the bathroom door closed when we're gone, but we forget at times, and when we do remember in the mornings, the bathroom stays too humid (we also need to replace our fan).

I think the only solution is a garbage with an electric top. Costco sells them in a set, one tall, one short. I'm fairly certain that my insanely smart dogs would still figure out how to open the shorter one by waving their noses over the top, so I think I'll use that elsewhere, and put the tall one in the bathroom. They're on my shopping list for this weekend. Luckily, this blunder should be easily fixed in a couple of days.

What is It?

Congratulations to Dawn, our only correct guesser for last week’s photo! Yes, it is a slipper, and sorry Joy, it was Light and Lofty yarn, not chenille. Great guesses, everyone!

This is the last photo for April – far we have two people in this month’s drawing. Entries from this week’s photo will be added to the drawing box next Tuesday, and I’ll announce the April winner next week.

What is It?

Good luck!

Storytime: Loving Lana, Chapter 7

Previous Chapter

“Yes,” said Lana, taking another sip of coffee. “You want sex, and I want the life you stole from me five years ago. I also want your business to remain with this company. You sign the contract, and we all get what we want.” She smiled, a cool, professional expression. She moved to set her cup down, then thought better of it. Something to hold kept her hand from shaking while she waited for his reply.

Brad sat back, tapping the pen she’d provided on the table. He regarded her thoughtfully for a few moments, before leaning forward to prop his elbows on the table.

“This contract is only good for a year,” he said, maintaining eye contact. “What happens after that?” Lana took a breath. This would be the hard part.

“After a year, the contract can either be re-negotiated, or cancelled,” she said, looking down at the table. “Martin Interiors should be solvent by then, and I will sign divorce papers without argument, releasing you from our marriage. In effect, everything will return to the status quo one year from the date of this contract.” She forced herself to meet his gaze again, nervous that her eyes would portray her conflicted feelings. Thankfully, Brad broke contact then, flipping quickly through the contract again.

“There’s no pre-nup in here,” he said with a frown.

“No, there’s not,” Lana said, her voice calm. “If you agree to marry me, I expect it to be a real marriage in every way. That includes splitting up our assets fairly if we decide to divorce.”

“So you expect me to give you a year of my life, and then half of my estate just like that? Just so you can save this little business?” Brad pushed the contract across the table at her. “I don’t think so, sweetheart. I’ll marry you, but I’m not going to pay you for the pleasure. Add a clause to the contract that we each leave with what we bring in, and you’ve got yourself a deal.”

Lana studied him for a moment, then slowly nodded.

“Done,” she said, rising to shake his hand. “I’ll have it drawn up and the contracts sent to your office this afternoon.”

Brad took her hand, but used it to pull her closer. “I think this deal should be sealed with a little more than a handshake, don’t you?” Lana swallowed, her mouth suddenly dry as she frantically licked her lips. Her eyes focused on his mouth, and she remembered how he good he tasted. Her eyes closed as he leaned in, and her heart beat wildly in anticipation.

His kiss began as a whisper against her lips, and then it was a storm. Lana hooked her arms around Brad’s neck and held on as he skillfully claimed her mouth. Her skin felt alive for the first time in years as he pulled her tight against his hard body. How many times had she longed to be in this very spot, with Brad’s arms around her? His arousal pressed against her, and she felt him gently guiding her back until her legs bumped the table. One of his hands slid lightly over her breast to pull at a button on her shirt.

“N—No! Stop!” Lana pushed Brad away, sliding to the side and taking a deep breath. She held a hand out in front of her as he moved closer. “Seriously Brad. We—I can’t go any further.” She turned towards the window, re-buttoning her shirt. “No more until after…”

“Until after the wedding?” The sarcastic reply cleared the last of Lana’s emotional fog. She sighed, turning back just in time to see Brad striding out the door.

This is the first draft of a novel I'm working on - comments always welcome.

Weekly Party Plan: Wardrobe Swap

Want to make that spring closet-cleaning chore more fun? Host a Wardrobe Swap!

Invitations: Invite five to ten friends for the best variety of clothing items for everyone to choose from. All those socks in the laundry that seem to have lost their mates would make a great creative invitations for the cost of a bottle of fabric paint! Either mail the sock invitations in an envelope, or pick up some inexpensive clothes pins from the dollar store, and hang the stocking invite on invitee's doors. Just make sure the socks are clean...

Main Activity: A personal swap meet between friends. Each guest will be asked to bring clothing items from home that are still in wearable condition. The hostess may decide to allow clothing for women, men, and/or children, depending on space constraints. Limits may also be put on the quantity (one large bag/box, or several). The idea is to swap as many items of clothing as possible, after which the remainder will be taken by the hostess to a local charity for donation.

Decor: No special decor is needed, though temporary clothes racks or lines and tables will help keep the swap items contained. If tables are in short supply, simply assign each guest a chair and a bit of floor space to display the items they bring.

Menu: Simple finger foods are best, avoid anything that might be greasy. Clear drinks are also a good idea, so any potential spills won't ruin clothing. Finger sandwiches, cookies, raw fruits and vegetables with ranch-type dips are all good choices, along with white wine, margaritas, lemonade, clear sodas and green or white tea.

Other Ideas: Bored with clothes? Include shoes or handbags in your swap, or even winter items like coats and scarves. Scheduling a wardrobe swap twice a year will ensure everyone a clean closet to start a new season!

Variety News & WIP Report 4/26 - 5/3/09

Here at The Variety Pages, you may have noticed a couple of changes recently. First, the addition of a weekly book review on Saturdays, which I hope will be informative, and possibly even entertaining. I'm an eclectic reader, so you can expect many different genres to be represented over time. This week's review will explore the intriguing Lost Souls by Lisa Jackson.

You also may have noticed that "Variety News" will now include a "WIP Report" (WIP=works in progress). This will mostly be writing-related, but it may include other projects on occasion. Please feel free to share your personal WIP reports in the comments...I'd love to hear how everyone else is doing!

Also coming this week, a weekly party plan for a wardrobe swap on Monday, chapters 7 & 8 of Lana and Brad's story on Tuesday and Friday, a new "What is it?" on Wednesday, and Wonders & Blunders in the bathroom on Thursday.

Elsewhere on the Variety Network:

Nail Art Tuesday explores the lovely strawberry.

Tea on Tap reviews Almond Biscotti from Teavana & White Symphony from Adagio.

WIP Report

May 1st, I'm starting a Short Story challenge at The Lost Wanderer. One story per month, written, edited, and submitted. I've picked out one of my novel drafts that I really think will work better in a shorter format for my first try. This is really exciting and scary for me, because it will only be the second time I've actually submitted anything!

I've also set a goal to get started editing one of my finished novel drafts. I recently read the first three chapters of several drafts, and chose "Perfect Companions" to edit and polish. So I'm starting that this week as well. I set a schedule that should be "doable".

If you care to share either your goals for the week, or a link to them on your blog, feel free to click the "Comments" link...

Have a great week!

Confessions of a Shopaholic by Sophie Kinsella

I picked this up on a whim, having seen the movie trailers and thinking it looked like it might be “stupid but cute”. Normally I wait to read a book if I’m planning to see the movie (since the book is often better), but unsure of whether I’d actually rent the movie, I decided to get the book.

“Confessions of a Shopaholic” is the story of Rebecca Bloomwood, who finds herself drowning in a sea of credit card debt, and unable to curtail her spending habits (sound familiar?). She struggles to find a way to both keep spending, and pay off her debts, and eventually she actually stumbles onto the perfect solution.

I’ll freely admit to being completely biased against books written in the first person (that’s what this review and most blog posts are written in, for anyone who may be confused). I like to sort of “lose myself” in a book, maybe even imagine that it’s me, but I always feel that with first person narratives, someone else is telling me his or her story, so I just have to watch from afar. This normally bores me, and I end up not finishing the book.

I have to give credit to Kinsella – while the narrative bugged me all the way through, her style of storytelling was witty and poignant enough to keep me reading to the end. Her writing voice is engaging, and while I couldn’t completely identify with the main character, I found myself wanting to listen to her story. At a couple of points in the book, I even thought I detected a hint of personal growth. Unfortunately, reading the last few pages made me reconsider whether there had been any progress after all, and if the story was doomed to start over again from the beginning. I actually kind of felt like I’d been pulled into this potentially life-altering adventure, only to find that I’d wasted my time in the end.

The writing is solid, the humor is wonderful, but I can’t say I’d read any more books in this series. However, those who are fans of shopping, designer brands and first person narratives may well enjoy this more than I did.

Storytime: Loving Lana, Chapter 6

Lana pushed Sara’s hand off, getting up from the couch to pace.

“Stop it. Just stop. I don’t need revenge. I—“ She took in a deep breath, then let it out slowly. “There has to be a way to work this out – without me selling myself, or Martin Interiors suffering for it.” She stopped in front of Sara, holding out a hand to pull her up.

“Promise me you’ll at least think about it,” Sara said, gathering her coat and purse. Lana nodded, opening the door for her.

“I promise I’ll think of something,” she said. “See you tomorrow.”

Sara pulled Lana into a gentle hug before she left, and Lana locked the door behind her. Maybe a bubble bath would help clear her head.

***

“Brad, it’s Lana. We need to talk. Meet me at our office – nine o’clock this morning. I have a counter offer for you.”

Lana flipped her cell phone closed, grinning when it rang almost immediately. She’d called at six, hoping that he would be in the shower and away from his phone. Brad had always been a creature of habit, and she’d been hoping he still had the same routines. She let it ring as she carefully spread cream cheese on a bagel. Taking a bite, she flipped open the phone to listen to the message he’d left. Just three words.

“I’ll be there.”

She snapped the phone shut again, and finished her breakfast, surprised that he hadn't offered any objections.

“You’re not in charge anymore, Brad Wesley,” she murmured as she gathered her coat and purse. “This time, I’m calling the shots.”

***

She’d barely hung up her coat and sat down at her desk when Sara walked through her door.

“So?” she asked, pacing nervously. “Are you gonna do it?”

“No,” Lana replied, motioning for her boss to take a seat. “But I did spend a lot of time thinking last night, and I may have a solution that will make everyone happy – well, relatively happy, anyways.” She noted that Sara was tightly gripping the arms of her chair, clearly anxious.

“So what’s the plan then?” Sara asked, her voice crisp.

Lana outlined the basics, noting that Sara’s death grip slowly loosened as she listened. When she finished, Lana sat back, relieved that it had sounded as good out loud as it had in her head last night.

“Brad will be here at nine,” she said, checking her watch. “He should be here any minute, so I should probably get going…” Sara stood, nodding.

“Good luck, Lana – I think Mr. Wesley would be an idiot not to take this deal. But are you sure this is what you want?"

"I think it's the only chance either of us have to move past...well...our past," she replied.

"Let me know how it goes, okay?”

Lana nodded to Sara, then reached for her portfolio and a few typed pages. You can do this, she coached herself silently as she walked down the hall to the boardroom.

The boardroom was empty when she got there, and she sat at the head of the table, laying her portfolio open in front of her. If she was going to convince Brad that she was in charge, she had to appear comfortable in that role, and she’d planned the meeting accordingly. She had just placed a contract at the place to her right when the receptionist opened the door, showing Brad in.

“Good morning,” Lana said brightly, careful to keep her tone warm but professional. She reached out her hand and somehow managed to maintain her composure as he folded it into his own. After a brief, firm shake, she motioned to the chair she’d assigned him. “Please, have a seat.” She waited until he was settled, then took her place next to him.

“My offer wasn’t negotiable, Lana.” Brad sounded perturbed, and Lana didn’t bother to fight back a grin.

“Nonsense, Brad,” she countered, leaning forward on her elbows. “Everything in life is negotiable, whether business or personal. I think you’ll find the new terms I’ve laid out are the best way for all of us to get what we want.” She tapped a well-manicured fingernail on his copy of the contract. “Take a few minutes to look it over. Can I get you anything? Coffee? Iced Tea?”

“No thank you,” Brad said, his brow furrowing as he picked up the document and began to read. Fighting to control her nervousness, Lana got up and walked over to the sideboard, pouring herself a cup of strong black coffee, taking her time in returning to the table. She sat back in her chair, crossed her legs and waited.

It didn’t take long for Brad to set the contract down again. To Lana’s surprise, he chuckled, shaking his head in disbelief before he responded.

“You want me to marry you?”

Read the previous chapter

This is the first draft of a novel I'm working on as a writing exercise. Comments always welcome.

Wonders & Blunders: Dishwashers and Eco-Friendly Dish Soap

Wonder: Dishwashers

I realize that having a love affair with my dishwasher is something akin to Milton and his stapler in Office Space (haven’t seen it? Do so now!). But you have to understand; I absolutely hate, abhor, *loathe* doing dishes by hand. So much so that I used to leave them piling up on my counters until I couldn’t actually use the kitchen. Predictably, this would result in the one thing I dreaded the most – a good hour or two standing at the kitchen sink, back and feet aching as I scrubbed all the dishes at once, sometimes running out of hot water. It doesn’t make sense, I know…but that’s the thing about activities people hate. I’m sure I’m not the only one who puts them off as long as possible, creating a much larger problem than the original task.

When I bought my first house, it didn’t come with a dishwasher. Since remodeling the kitchen wasn’t a viable option financially, I did the next best thing, and bought a countertop dishwasher. It hooked up to the sink, only held a couple place settings at once and was fairly loud, but I thought it was the Greatest. Thing. Ever.

Four years later, I got married, and my husband and I bought our house. You can imagine my total delight to finally have a full-sized built in dishwasher! I guiltily admit to using our dishwasher twice a day now, because that’s what it takes to do all of our dishes, the dog’s dishes, and pots and pans for the day. It’s worth the energy and water though to keep my kitchen counters clean and usable throughout the day!

Someday, I’d love to try those “dish drawers”…but as long as I don’t have to do the dishes, any machine will do…

Blunder: Environmentally Friendly Dishwasher Detergent

For the past couple of years, I’ve been trying to “green” my life as much as possible. I’ve successfully switched all of our other soaps and detergents to more natural formulas without all the nasty chemicals. But dishwasher detergent is the one thing I still have problems with, and after trying three brands, I’ve gone back to my standard, bad-for-the-environment formula. The main problems I've had with the eco-friendly brands are that they just don’t seem to have the power to get all the bits of food off, and they just don’t rinse easily, even with a rinse aid. The only thing that works is to run the dishwasher on the “Pots & Pans” cycle – but that sort of defeats the purpose, since it uses more water and energy for the longer cycle.

So for now, I’m sticking with the bad stuff, and I’ll switch as soon as someone makes an eco-friendly version that works on the regular cycle.

What Is It?

Last week's photo was indeed my PDA keyboard, as Joy guessed correctly. Congrats again, Joy! Anyone want to give her some competition in this month's drawing, with two more weeks to go?

What Is It?

I've decided the monthly drawing prizes will be a book and a small tin of tea - hopefully winners won't mind if the book is of the "slightly used" variety, but I do promise the tea will be new!

Book Reviews & Making Room

I've been thinking about adding a weekly book review to the blog. I read a lot, and I'd like to hone my critiquing skills - not so I can critique others so much, but because becoming a better editor of my own work is one of my goals this year. One of the best ways to become good at something is to do it, and what better way to become good at critiquing writing than to review books? That's how I learned all I know about tea - by reviewing teas at Tea on Tap. I read several genres, so the reviews may be quite varied.

I may not garner many comments here, but that's okay. I understand. I don't comment much either, though I'm trying to do that more. I know you're lurking (thanks to my stat counters), and I sincerely appreciate everyone who visits here. But I was hoping that some of you might come out of lurkdom to help with this one thing my stats aren't very clear on: which of my other post topics to cut, in order to make room for the new book review posts. I know I still have one free day left in the week, but I'm considering that for something completely different, like maybe flash fiction (don't get too excited, I sort of suck at it - hence the need for practice).

Topics on the proverbial chopping block at this point are:

Monday's Weekly Party Plans
Wednesday's What is it (sorry Joy!)
Thursday's Wonders & Blunders

So go ahead - click on that little "Comments" link, and vote for which post topic you are least likely to read/enjoy on a weekly basis.

Storytime: Loving Lana, Chapter 5

This is the first draft of a novel I'm working on - simply as a writing exercise. Title changes at my whim (because I can't decide what to call it). Comments are always welcome.

Loving Lana/Lana's Nightmare, Ch. 5

“No. Absolutely n-- No!” Lana said, trying to keep the shock from showing on her face. “No way am I crawling back into your bed, ever.” She looked straight into his eyes, hoping to communicate her determination. She saw only strong confidence staring back at her. He seriously thought I’d say yes, she realized, growing angrier by the second.

“I never said you’d have to crawl,” Brad replied, grinning slightly. “But I’ll carry you if you’d prefer.”

Lana couldn’t keep her mouth from dropping open, and felt her cheeks burning with embarrassment. She could feel the stares of the diners around them, looking on with blatant interest now. Unable to take a proper breath, and not trusting herself to speak anyways, she pushed her chair back from the table, grabbed her portfolio and purse, and walked away. She made a point to keep her shoulders back and her head high, not daring to look at anything or anyone but the door until she was safely through it. She made it to her car, and fumbled in her purse for her keys, struggling to hold back tears.

“Lana, wait,” Brad called, and she hurried to unlock the door and step into the car, flinging her things on the passenger seat. Starting the engine, she pulled out of the parking spot just as Brad reached it. She swiped at a stray drop on her cheek as she drove towards home.

The phone was ringing as Lana walked into her apartment, and she let the machine pick up while she put her purse and keys on the table, and went to the kitchen. With a sinking heart, she listened as Sara’s voice came through the speaker.

“Hi Lana – I was hoping you’d be home by now, but maybe it’s a good sign you’re still at the meeting. Call me when you get in, okay? I could use some good news. We just lost two more accounts – Sun Labs and InStar won’t be renewing their contracts. I’m really counting on you and Sandra to keep us going…I hope things are going well with Wesley! Anyways, call me, even if it’s late. Bye.”

Lana wiped a few more tears from her face, taking a deep breath. Could this day get any worse? She got a glass from the cupboard, and reached above the fridge for the bottle of Bailey’s Irish Cream she kept there for “emergencies”. This definitely qualifies, she thought as she poured the liquor over ice. Replacing the bottle, she went into the living room, kicking off her shoes and curling her feet underneath her on the couch. She took a sip, relishing the warmth of the alcohol as she closed her eyes, trying to decide what she should do.

Lana woke abruptly to someone knocking loudly on her door. She stood, groaning at a kink in her neck, and checked her watch. Eleven o’clock – who could possibly be at the door? She looked through the peep hole out into the hall, and sighed. She flipped the dead bolt open, and turned the lock, opening to motion Sara inside.

“Lana, what happened tonight? Did you get my message? I was worried when you didn’t call me back! Sara moved like a whirlwind as she dropped her coat and purse on a chair, turning back to watch Lana lock the door again, and lean her back against the door.

“I got your message,” Lana said wearily. “Sara, I—I just really don’t think I can do this. I think we have to let the Wesley account go.” She walked down the hall past Sara, and sat on the couch again. Sara followed her into the living room, and sat in the chair beside her.

“What happened?” Sara’s voice was filled with a mixture of sympathy and disappointment. Lana felt the tears welling again. How could she let her best friend, her boss down like this? She took a breath, and looked over at Sara, not sure how much she should say.

“He asked for too much,” Lana said calmly, blinking back the tears. “I know you were counting on me, but I just can’t give him what he wants.”

“And that is…”

“Me,” Lana said, the anger rising again. “He wants me to be his mistress. Do you see why I can’t—“

Sara shook her head, holding a hand up. “Weren’t you in love with this guy?”

“Well yeah…but—“

“You were ready to marry him, right?”

“Yes.”

“So you slept with him?”

“Sara! You can’t be suggesting that I--”

“Lana, our company is going under. If there was any other way…can’t you just consider it? Actually…” Sara grinned, leaning over to put a hand on Lana’s knee. “Lana, this is the perfect opportunity to get revenge!”

Weekly Party Plan: Mother's Day Tea

What could be more ladylike than a spring tea for Mother’s Day? Get out the fine china, and spend some quality time with Mom.

Invitations: Just a phone invite will do, although a lovely little flowery note card would be a nice way to invite Mom, and any siblings (though men might not enjoy the atmosphere so much). Tie a ribbon around the rest of the note cards, and set them by your mother’s place as a nice little gift.

Décor: Drape the table in white linens, with bright, pastel spring placemats and a spring table runner. A tiered server should take center-stage, of course, and salad-sized plates with a springtime design for each setting, and pretty cloth napkins, of course. A colorful spring teapot makes a great gift – no need to wrap it, just fill it with flowers for a lovely take-home centerpiece for Mom.

Don’t forget the teacup and saucer at each plate, along with a fork, knife, and teaspoon. A teapot like my Lenox one (pictured above) with flowers and butterflies really helps set the mood, but anything light colored will do, and clear glass is always elegant. If Mom or Grandmother is “old school”, have them bring their favorite teacup and saucer set to use.
Menu: Serve either Mom’s favorite tea, or if there are others attending who might have a different “favorite” (grandma, perhaps?), then choose up to three teas to serve. A good combination is one white, one green, and either an oolong or black to round out the choices. Food choices should include scones, fresh fruit, and sweets, either petit fours or truffles, perhaps. Of course you’ll want lemon curd and clotted cream for the scones.

Gifts: Tea is always a good gift, enjoyable and consumable. Loose leaf tea is best, and if she doesn’t already have them, accoutrements to brew it with. Or perhaps a satchel for her favorite cup and saucer. Stationery, flowers, or maybe a set of personal “calling cards” would also be well-suited to the theme, and something everyone can enjoy.

Variety Network News 4/19 - 4/25

The Variety Pages: This week, a Mother's Day Tea Party will be featured as the Weekly Party Plan, two new chapters will be posted on Storytime days for Loving Lana/Lana's Nightmare, and Wonders & Blunders explores kitchen gadgets. Watch for a new "Short Story Saturday" feature to be introduced this week.

Nail Art Tuesday: Konad nail art on Nars "Bohemia" polish, no pedicure this week.

Tea on Tap: New reviews to be posted Tuesday and Thursday, featuring "Black Raspberry" from Teavanna and "Golden Pearls" from Teas, Etc.

Scaryview Cemetery: Nothing new this week...

A Healthy Shade of Green: Posting will be suspended indefinately on this blog, so I have more time to work on my writing projects.

Thanks for reading!

Storytime: Loving Lana (?), Chapter 4

This is the first draft of a novel I'm working on - simply as a writing exercise. Title changes at my whim (because I can't decide what to call it). Comments are always welcome.

Loving Lana/Lana's Nightmare Ch. 4

Lana denied herself the deep breath she wanted to take. Instead, she reached for her wine; avoiding Brad’s stare while she took a sip, and slowly, deliberately placed the glass back on the table.

“Okay then,” she said coolly, finally making eye contact. “I’m listening.” She reminded herself not to curl her fingers into the fabric of her skirt as she kept her hands in her lap. No need to wrinkle a perfectly good skirt with a bad case of nerves. She sat back in her chair, hoping to appear completely at ease, and maybe even bored with the whole thing. The look on Brad’s face told her it really wasn’t working.

“Lana, I—I don’t really even know where to start. What happened between us…what I did to you was unconscionable. But you have to understand, women used to do that to me all the time—“

“Date you and show up to dinner thinking they might get a ring?” Lana said in a quiet voice. “Heaven forbid someone might actually fall in love with you,” she continued, raising her hand to her heart, mocking him. He shook his head, frowning at her drama.

“No, I meant they used to try to trap me into marrying them,” he said, eyes on the table. “It seems like every girl I dated back then wanted my money, my name, my status. Is it so hard to believe that I thought the same of you?”

“Yes,” Lana said simply. “If you had really loved me, you would have trusted that even if I were somehow pregnant, that it was an accident. You wouldn’t have just assumed I was trying to trap you—“

“But you were expecting me to propose that night weren’t you? Even after I told you I never planned to marry?”

Lana shrugged. “Plans change,” she said simply. “You said you had something very important to discuss with me, and since I fancied myself in love with you at the time, I assumed that perhaps you wanted a more permanent commitment.” She speared him with a direct stare. “But never did it occur to me that you were monitoring my activities, and jumping to ridiculous assumptions.”

Brad started to reply, but remained silent as their food was served. When the waiter had gone, he leaned forward. “Do you care to enlighten me with the truth about those activities now?” He held her gaze a second longer, and then started carving off a piece of his steak.

“No,” Lana said, starting on her own meal. “You weren’t interested in the truth then, and quite frankly, it’s none of your business now.”

“Fair enough,” Brad said. “But I think if we’re going to move forward with our relationship, we should have things out in the open, don’t you?”

Lana’s fork dropped to the floor with a loud clatter. She barely kept from choking as she washed down her food with a large gulp of wine. She stared at him in disbelief.

“Move forward?” she said, more loudly than she’d intended. “What on earth makes you think I’d want any relationship - other than what’s necessary for business - with you?” She couldn’t seem to keep her voice down, even though she was aware of uncomfortable glances from the nearby tables. She waited in silence while Brad finished two more bites, and casually wiped his mouth with his napkin.

“Because that’s the deal,” he said, his voice all business now. “If Martin Interiors wants to keep my business, you will be my mistress for the remainder of the contract period.”

Previous Chapter

Wonders & Blunders: Electronic Taxes

Tuesday night, I had to do our taxes (and I’ll wager I wasn’t the only one!). So instead of the kitchen, I thought I’d comment on the “wonders and blunders” of tax software.

Wonders: Turbo Tax, and Free Online Filing

I have done my taxes myself since the first year I made enough money to turn them in (I think I was 15 or 16 at the time). Up until just a few years ago, that meant hauling out my handy dandy calculator, instruction booklets and forms, and piles of paper. I’d set aside an entire afternoon and the whole dining room table in order to wade through those forms line by line, reading instructions and doing calculations until I was fairly certain that everything was “close enough”. Usually, it was – and the only time I ever got audited, the state owed *me* more money, rather than me owing them anything.

Then I started selling Avon. And I realized quickly that there was no way I could possibly figure out the in’s and out’s of Schedule C without ripping my hair out. It was bad enough that I was horrible at record-keeping, so I still had to go through every single invoice for the entire year, splitting things out into deductable categories and hoping I got it right. That’s the year I started using TurboTax, deciding that writing off the $75 cost was less painful than trying to understand the instructions for small business taxes. It was still confusing, but I managed, very grateful for the ultra-simple interface and instructions that came with tax software. But I still put it off to the last minute, knowing we’d still have to pay in, and I’d have to wade through all of those invoices and mileage records again.

Last year, I quit selling Avon – but I still procrastinated this year, thinking we’d owe even more money to the federal government since we didn’t have my business expenses to write off. But when I sat down Tuesday night, I realized that without the glut of business invoices to go through, the tax software actually made the chore…well…not much of a chore at all, really. It was, dare I say, even *easy*…just time consuming when it came to grabbing values for our clothing donations and such. And I did have to search for where to enter a capital loss from some stocks of my hubby’s that had tanked and been sold.

In any case, while I know I *could* go back to doing the taxes by hand without the extra business, I don’t ever want to. TurboTax makes it so much easier, and I don’t even need a calculator. Taxes suck, but tax software, and being able to file our federal return electronically for free is a technological wonder (even if we did have to pay in...but at least we could have it direct debited, and be done with it).

Blunder: State E-filing Fees
I honestly don’t know why Montana has to charge a fee for e-filing when the federal government doesn’t (and it’s not like our state is broke or anything). But seriously, $19.95 to e-file a return? No thanks – I sent ours off in an envelope with 51 cents of postage (couldn’t find any 1 cent stamps to go with my 41 cent stamp). They already got all the money they’re going to get from my taxes (yes, we do get a refund from them, but still) – I’m not paying extra to get my paperwork there more quickly.

What Is It?

Congrats again to Joy, who correctly guessed "Beeswax" for last week's photo! Here's this week's photo (hint, pay attention to the flickr photostream to the right...).

Good luck!

Storytime: Loving Lana, Chapter 3

This is the first draft of a novel I'm working on - simply as a writing exercise. Comments are always welcome.

Loving Lana - Chapter 3

Lana sat up in her chair abruptly, blinking her eyes a few times to chase the memories away.

“Focus,” she mumbled to herself, closing the file and placing the paper with her notes on top. She turned to her computer, and started typing out a detailed plan to fix or replace all of the items that had been sabotaged, and move forward with the weekly specialized interior decorating that Martin Interiors was famous for. Her fingers moved swiftly over the keys, and as she worked, she could almost forget the man behind the business.

*****

Lana shut her car door and stowed her keys in her handbag. Tucking her portfolio under her arm, she surveyed herself one more time in the reflection of her car window. She’d considered changing her clothes after work, but decided that her prim business jacket and skirt would help her maintain her professional distance. Her honey-colored hair was pulled back into a neat and efficient chignon, and the practical wire frames on her glasses gave her the air of a stern librarian. She walked to the restaurant, trying to ignore the butterflies in her stomach.

“He really is a jerk,” Lana whispered under her breath as she peeked carefully through the window at McIntyre’s. Brad was sitting at the same table they’d had last time, and he still looked just as delicious as she remembered. His broad shoulders filled out an expensive navy sport coat that hung casually open over a crisp white dress shirt and navy pants. No tie tonight, she noted, so he was treating this as a casual dinner. His dark hair was longer, just brushing over his collar and framing his smooth, angular face. She turned away, feeling her face heat with embarrassment as tingles swept through her at the thought of actually being near him again. Taking a few deep breaths, she held her head high, and walked through the door, determined not to let him see how he still affected her.

The second she entered the restaurant, Brad knew. He didn’t even have to turn around – he could feel her strong presence growing stronger as she approached the table. Her heels clicked confidently on the tile floor behind him, and he grinned, glad she had risen to his challenge. That-a-girl, he thought, standing to hold out a chair for her. He stood patiently as she stopped in front of him, all buttoned up in her business attire, looking strong and unperturbed by her surroundings and his presence. But as he gazed into her emerald eyes, he saw a hint of fear, and his amusement faded. He had done that to her, and there hadn’t been a day since that he hadn’t regretted his actions.

“Hello Lana,” he said calmly, gesturing for her to sit.

“Hello Brad,” she replied, her voice even and low. She allowed him to push the chair in before she set her purse on the chair next to her, and her portfolio on the table. Brad took the seat across from her, and raised a hand to signal the waiter.

“Wine?” he asked. Lana considered sticking to water, but decided that one glass of wine might help sooth her nerves.

“Please,” she said, noting that the waiter had brought a bottle of white wine with him, her favorite. The waiter topped off Brad’s glass, and filled Lana’s, leaving them to look over the menu.

“The duck is good,” Brad said quietly. Lana glanced over the simple flowers between them and raised one eyebrow. She looked back down at her menu for a moment, then closed it decisively.

“I think I’ll have a steak,” she said, willing her voice not to crack from the nerves that were curling through her skin. “Have you decided?” she asked politely.

“Yes,” Brad replied as the waiter magically reappeared at his arm. “The lady and I will both have the steak,” he said as he handed their menus to the waiter. “Rare for me, medium well for her.” The waiter nodded, taking the menus and disappearing as easily as he had come. Brad leaned back in his chair, a smile flirting on his lips.

“It’s been a long time, Lana,” he said, studying her intently. “You look like you’re doing well.”

“I am, thank you,” she replied, taking a sip of wine. “From what I see in your file, despite Ms O’Neal’s efforts to the contrary, it would appear you’re doing well too. I think we can improve on that, especially with your big gala coming up.” She reached for her portfolio, preparing to open it, but Brad leaned forward and placed a hand gently on the navy leather.

“Business can wait, Lana. I want to talk to you – we need to discuss a few things.” His voice was gentle, soothing, and his hazel eyes were focused on hers, making it hard for Lana to think. Was that regret she saw lurking in his gaze? She frowned, giving herself a mental shake.

“Of course we do,” she said crisply, trying to maintain a professional boundary, though she was fairly certain he wanted to discuss personal things. Things she didn’t want to revisit. “I realize that you’re probably not happy with our services right now, and I have some ideas about how we can –“

“I need to apologize,” Brad said softly, reaching out to run a tentative finger over her hand where it lay on the table. Shivers ran up her arm, and instinctively she pulled her hand out of reach. He leaned back, giving her space. “I really couldn’t care less about my business right now, Lana. I just need you to hear me out.”

Weekly Party Plan: Easy Easter Dinner

We had my parents over for Easter dinner yesterday. Even though I wasn’t really feeling well last week (annoying, energy-sapping cold), I still managed to get some decorations up. The whole tablescape took me about 1 ½ hours, and that’s just because I waffled about the centerpiece. Having the right dishes really makes everything easier – even my very simple place settings were bright and spring-y with the flower plates & bowls, and my new green blown-glass goblets. Something to think about while shopping for dishes…I kept the menu simple too – which cut way back on what I had to do Sunday morning. Pre-prepared ribs and a pre-marinated turkey breast from Costco just went into the oven about 1 ½ hours before the meal, and a green salad with sliced mushrooms & shredded cheese on the side made a light side dish. Green beans with bacon bits filled the second side, and my mom brought a fruity pasta salad that rounded everything out. I’ve really been working on realizing that one doesn’t actually need fifty different dishes on the table to make a nice meal!
The only thing I wish I would have gotten to but didn’t was dessert – but chocolate bunnies at each place saved the day very nicely on that front.

Beverages were iced tea (Cranberry Blood Orange from Republic of Tea) and soda, with hot tea (Andrews & Dunham Dragonwell) after the meal.

I hope everyone else had a wonderful, relaxing and rejuvenating Easter!

Variety Network News 4/13/09 - 4/17/09

The Variety Pages: The weekly party plan on Monday is “Easter”. Two more installments of “Lana’s Nightmare” will be posted Tues & Friday. Wonders & Blunders visits the kitchen this week…

Nail Art Tuesday: Contest photos will be posted Monday, and a manicure featuring Color Club Runway Muse and Konad will be posted Tues. Watch for a special polish remover review and toe polish photos later in the week.

Tea on tap: New reviews on Dragonwell from Andrews & Dunham, and Golden Monkey from Teas, Etc.

A Healthy Shade of Green: Organic vs. non-organic at the grocery store – tough choices for the best taste and value.

Scaryview Cemetery Scrapbook: Find out what dog teeth and Halloween have in common.

Storytime: Lana's Nightmare Chapter 2

This is the first draft of a novel I'm working on - simply as a writing exercise. Comments are always welcome.

Loving Lana Ch. 2

“Hello Kitten.”

Lana shuddered as the voice of her nemesis struck her ear, his familiar address catching her off guard. You’re not a kitten anymore, she reminded herself silently. Be a tiger! She forced herself to reply in a detached, professional tone.

“Good afternoon, Mr. Wesley. I’m calling to set up a meeting to discuss your contract with Martin Interiors. I’ve been assigned to take over your account, and I see from your file that there are several upcoming events--”

“It’s Brad,” he interrupted coolly. “And I’ve arranged for dinner at Macintyre’s tonight at seven thirty. Don’t be late.”

Lana slowly replaced the receiver after the line abruptly went dead. She stared at the phone, trying to decide what to do, or even how she felt. Did he really think she was going to meet him at the same restaurant where he’d completely humiliated her? That he could just order her around, and then hang up on her? She picked up the phone again, and redialed his number.

“Wesley Investments, please hold.”

While she waited, Lana wondered if this was all part of some evil plan. He had to know that she wouldn’t want to go back to that restaurant. If she refused, it would imply that she still cared, that he still had the power to hurt her. She wouldn’t give him that, not ever again.

She placed the phone gently back in the cradle and sat back in her chair with a frown. She’d show up at the restaurant alright, show him that she’d moved past what had happened. I’m not the same woman you knew, Mr. Wesley. Closing her eyes, she remembered the last time she’d seen Brad, five years earlier.

It had been almost surreal, going to the restaurant to meet him that night, hoping, maybe even expecting that he would propose. There had been something important he wanted to discuss with her, and Lana had been giddy with excitement. She had barely sat down when he blurted it out.

“Why didn’t you tell me you were pregnant?”

His voice still haunted Lana. It had been so full of pain and anger, and Lana was shocked speechless. She felt pinned down under his cold stare, shivering under his harsh scrutiny.

“I—I’m not…” she stammered, fear flooding her veins with adrenaline. “Why would you think that I am?”

“My secretary saw you coming out of the OB clinic last week,” Brad said crisply. “I made a few calls to confirm your condition.” Lana opened her mouth, but no sound would come out. She was powerless to even wipe away the tear that had escaped down her cheek. Weren’t medical records private? Not that it mattered much now.

“You’ve known for at least a week, and I’ve been waiting for you to say something. You know I don’t want kids – were you waiting until it was too late to do anything about? Planning to get child support out of me – was that it? Or maybe force me to marry you?”

“No! Of course not,” Lana managed to whisper, her eyes lowered. “But I’m not--”

Brad shook his head, holding a hand up to silence Lana when she tried to speak. “No more, Lana,” he said firmly. “If you would have said something right away, things might have been different. But I can’t be with someone who would hide something so important from me. And I won’t—“

“Stop it! Just stop!” Lana remembered standing abruptly in the middle of Brad’s lecture, unable to hear anymore. She absently wiped at the tears on her face, embarrassed and humiliated that he had chosen to confront her so publically. “I’m not pregnant,” she said somewhat more quietly. “I never was, and never will be.” She watched as confusion played briefly over Brad’s face. “I never want to see you again – just stay away from me.”

Variety Network News 4/6 – 4/10

Nail Art Tuesday features a pink manicure with dried flowers. The Spring Fling contest ends on Friday morning, with prize pictures featured Thursday afternoon.

Tea on Tap features reviews of Adagio’s Golden Spring and Nepal from Andrews & Dunham. A new “ID that Tea” coming on Friday.

A Healthy Shade of Green: nothing new this week.

Scaryview Cemetery Scrapbook: nothing new this week.

Here at the Variety Pages, a few minor changes taking place as the new posting schedule gets tweaked again. Variety Network News posts are moving to Sundays, and will feature highlights of what’s coming in the next week rather than what’s already happened. Due to lack of interest in voting, the “Write Around” has become simply “Storytime”, and a new installment will be posted twice weekly on Tuesdays and Fridays. “Wonders & Blunders” will move to Thursdays.

Tomorrow, "tune in" for another installment of “Lana’s Nightmare”…

What Is It?

Congrats to Joy, who was the only participant last week, for guessing correctly that the picture was "Adagio's Fujian Baroque". Dare I mention that "dry tea leaves" would also have been an appropriate answer? Regardless, that's one entry for the monthly drawing! Here's this week's picture.

What is it?

Good luck!

Wonders & Blunders: Seeds & Timing

Why limit such a great topic to one category, right? This week’s Wonders & Blunders comes from the Greenhouse…

Weekly Wonder: Sprouting Tomatoes in a Bio-Dome from Park Seed
I bought two bio-domes last year for seed starting, and I can’t say I’ve ever had such great luck with seed germination. I had nearly 100% germination last year in these things, and this year is off to a really great start! They couldn’t be simpler to use – just stick the plugs in (biodegradable sponges), let them absorb as much water as they need, stick the seeds into the pre-dibbled holes, and watch things grow! Perfect, amazing little invention. I started these seeds in the house a little over a week ago, and just moved them out to my greenhouse last Sunday. They’ll stay in this tray until everything has 2 “true” leaves, and then I’ll transplant them into coir or cow pots for growing on until it’s time to plant them outside.

Weekly Blunder: I didn’t order my seed plugs until March this year, and they were already backordered! So while I had enough left over from last year to start my veggies, I can’t start my flower seeds until the new order gets here – hopefully soon! Next year, I really need to order supplies earlier…

Weekly Party Plan: It's a Seed Thing!

Spring is here! What better way to celebrate than with a "seed party"?

Invitations: The obvious choice is seed paper, like this from Botanical Paperworks. This paper is embedded with seeds, so your guests can plant it in the garden, and watch flowers grow from it! A gift right from the start. The front of the card could announce the party theme "It's a Seed Thing", with an informal invitation to "Join me in welcoming spring with a seed-planting and exchange party!" on the inside. Don't forget to include instructions for planting the card on the back...

Activities: Guests should each bring two packets of seed, one flowers, and one vegetable. Each will go into a separate drawing bucket, and everyone will then "draw" one packet of each seed. Then everyone can plant one (or more) seeds in cups, peat pots, or whatever the hostess decides (or ask guests to bring thier preferred planting container).

Décor: Clear dishes of sprouted wheatgrass seeds in polymer crystals (check the soil section of your local garden center) will show off the roots as well as the first sign of green grass. Bulb vases with blooming spring hyacynths would make lovely accents for end tables. Of course a long table will be needed, covered with newspaper and holding large bowls of potting soil, and hap-hazard piles of popsicle sticks and paper for making labels.
Serving pieces: Anything with spring leaves and or flowers will work, as long as the colors are light and bright. It's always good to keep some clear glass salad/dessert plates on hand - that way, if you don't have anything to match your theme, you can buy some paper napkins that match, and use a solid colored larger plate, then the napkin on top, underneath the clear plate. Voila, themed place setting for less than $2.

Menu: Scones with raspberry jam & lemon curd, lettuce roll-ups (roll up fruit or fresh veggies & dressing into a large lettuce leaf, secure with toothpicks), tea sandwiches with sprouts - cool, summer-like fare.

Drinks: Lemonade and Iced tea with fresh mint sprigs to garnish.

Dress code: Guests might want to wear thier favorite gardening shoes, hats and gloves.

Lana's Nightmare - Chapter 1

Popular vote determines the path of this online serial story, with a new installment posted every Friday. Is it a romance? Is it a horror, mystery or adventure? Will all the characters live to see the end (and will it end with “happily ever after”)? You, the readers will determine that and more as we go along. Simply read the current installment, and then vote in the poll on the right side of the blog by the following Tuesday. Feel free to leave comments after each installment if you wish.

Loving Lana - Chapter 1

Lana stared out the window, watching the people fourteen floors below scurrying about. Umbrellas started popping up randomly over the crowd as the light drizzle turned to a hard rain. Black umbrellas, for the most part.

Why do people choose black umbrellas when a rainy day is already so dull?

She sighed, forcing her attention back to her colleagues. Everyone was seated around a large oval table in the minimally decorated board room. Sara Martin, the head of Martin Interiors and Lana’s best friend since college, stood at the front of the room, pointing to a sharply falling red line on a large graph.

"As of right now, we need at least two more good contracts to recoup our losses from the botched Wesley and Anderson jobs last quarter. In addition, we’ll need to redo those projects pro bono, in order to salvage our reputation. It’s going to be a very busy month, people."

Lana nodded as Sara peered over her glasses at them all. Just last week, it had been discovered that Tara O’Neil, a secretary in the front office had been deliberately sabotaging several decorating jobs because Sara had turned her down for a promotion. Tara had been fired, but not before doing substantial damage to two of the firm’s largest year-round clients. Brad Wesley and Darrin Anderson were now threatening to take their business elsewhere if Martin Interiors didn’t make good on the latest projects.

“I have a few potential clients to meet with next week, and hopefully we can get contracts signed with them that will help boost our earnings this quarter. Jake and Dawn, you two will be heading those up when everything is finalized.” Sara walked around the table distributing files as she continued. “Sandra, you’ll take over the Anderson account. Darrin is waiting for your call – make sure you contact him before five ‘o clock today, and find out how we can make things right for him. You’re free to get started now, if you’d like.” Sandra nodded, taking the file and walking briskly out of the room.

Lana bit her bottom lip nervously. She was the only one who hadn’t gotten an assignment yet, and there was just one left to give out. Sara came to stand by her, and set the last file folder on the table in front of Lana.

“Sorry Lana, but he asked for you specifically.” Sara’s voice was apologetic, but firm. “We need this contract, and you’re the only one who can make that happen at this point. He’s waiting for your call.”

Lana nodded slowly, staring at the folder in front of her. “I’ll see what I can do,” she said quietly. Vaguely she heard Sara dismiss the meeting, and as everyone got up to leave, she leaned forward, opening the file folder carefully as if something might jump out of it.

“I wouldn’t ask you to do this if there was any other way,” Sara said, pulling up a chair after everyone else had left. “After what Brad did to you—“

“It’s okay,” Lana said. She tried to smile convincingly at her friend. “It’s not like I can avoid him forever, right? We need his money, so I’ll do what I can to hold on to it.”

She closed the file after a cursory glance over the first page, and pushed her chair back. Sara stood too, briefly embracing Lana before they both walked to the door.

“Thank you, Lana – I really appreciate this. Let me know if there’s anything I can do to help.”

Lana nodded, and headed down the hall to her office. She needed to read the file in depth to see what had been sabotaged, and then set up a meeting with Brad to discuss solutions. She squared her shoulders, mentally preparing herself to hear his voice again when she called. The low, even tone he always used had a hypnotic effect on her, and even now, she could feel a slight chill in her spine at the memory. She reached her office, closed the door, and sat at her desk, shoving the memories aside as she began to read the file.

Variety Network News 3/30 – 4/3/09

A peek around my little online neighborhood for the week:

Nail Art Tuesday features Color Club’s sparkly black “Revvvolution” polish, with a stamped design. Contest announcement coming up on Friday.

Tea on Tap features a new review of Adagio’s Fujian Baroque black tea, as well as another contest announcement coming on Friday (wow, serious contesting around here!). Tea on Tap twitter launched this week as well, if you’re curious as to what I’m drinking at the moment.

A Healthy Shade of Green (aka Moderately Green) features a peek inside the world of homemade skin care, and a couple recipes to experiment with. Oddly, no contest announcement here.

Scaryview Cemetery Scrapbook is still featuring IV drink dispensers from last week. No contest announcement here either. Weird.

Right here on The Variety Pages, Lana’s Nightmare launches tomorrow, a (hopefully interactive) writing exercise that I’ve wanted to try for quite some time now. See you then!

What Is It?

Welcome to the first edition of “What Is It”? Simply leave a comment telling me what the subject of the picture is. Everyone who guesses correctly will be entered into a monthly drawing for a small, yet memorable prize to be awarded at the end of the month. So without further ado…

What is It?

Hint: All photos were taken by me, and can usually be found on one of my blogs in some form or another...